J. Gravelle's Blog

Our differences define us.

I don't demand that you change yourself to be like me (although, now that I see it in writing, it IS a fantastic idea and you really should consider it). 

In general, we try to appreciate one another's differences, since they help set us apart as unique individuals.  I, for example, appreciate it when you have a bad hair day, because it makes me look all that much better by comparison.  (On that note, I owe most of the people I saw this summer at the Washington County Fair a big ol'  "thank yewww".)

Likewise, we reap the benefits of the different cultures that influence our own.  Look at the vast array of food choices we have, thanks to the way we've embraced people from other lands.  We can often find FRENCH toast and CANADIAN bacon on the same restaurant menu, even though the French and the Canadians have absolutely nothing in common.  Our kitchens are stocked with Italian cuisine from internationally renowned chefs like Palermo, Tony, and Boyardee.  All this because we, as English-speaking, domestic-car-driving, Judeo-Christian, gun-toting Americans refuse to be stereotyped.

This is, as you know, reiterated by the welcoming inscription on the Statue of Liberty, reading:  "Cogito sum deo.  ExLax ad hominem."  Translation:  "Come, melt in our pot.  Make a run for the border."



Yet there are those among us who insist we surrender one of our differences and try and be more like one another.  Surprisingly, they tend to be members of the very group who are the most adamant about accepting diversity, i.e.:  the far left.

They'll deny it, of course, defending their open-mindedness anecdotally, to whit: 

  "I have all kinds of black friends, and I've never noticed their skin color." 

But despite their "Rainbow Coalition" bumper sticker, and their "Imagine World Peace" bumper sticker, and their "Co-Exist" bumper sticker (often found framing their "Kill George Bush" bumper sticker) there's one difference between us all that they simply cannot and will not tolerate:  the Diversity of Income.

Leftists hold both the upper and lower classes in contempt, insisting that members of both castes abandon their unique lifestyles and adopt a "median" level of income on par with their own mediocrity.  "Median" is a statistical algebraic term that can be used to quantify things like one's lot in life, for example: 

  "My taxes are so high I median macaroni and cheese every day." 

Liberal activists give the poor a condescending pat on the head, sympathetically cooing "Awwww.  Somebody should give you some money!  Somebody ELSE, I mean."  Between sips of their eight dollar Starbucks caffellatte, they scowl at the "disposable income" of the wealthy, and conspire to redistribute it.



"The wealthy", in the lefty-lexicon, is a term for anybody who makes more money than the person speaking does.  That's why millionaires like the Obamas and Kennedys can spew tirades about "the rich" without pegging the Democrats' uncalibrated hypocrisy-ometer.  When your mantra is "You ought to have as much as I do", you've excluded yourself as the focus of scorn. 

The problem then, obviously isn't YOU... it's the people who make MORE than you.  It's a brilliant and sinister ploy to pit us against one another, but it's not new.  Political struggles are, by definition, "class versus class", and they've been around since ancient Roman television first broadcast a campaign ad ending with "I'm Julius Caeser, and I approve this message."

Odd though, that the traditionally anti-capitalist O-pponents of "labels" are the PRO-ponents of divisively classifying everybody according to their financial worth...



================================================
WE'RE NUMBER FOUR ... WE'RE NUMBER FOUR!

Thanks to you, my DAILYSCOFF.com blog has broken
into the BNN "Top 10 Most Influential Political Blogs"
in Wisconsin, out of some 200+ candidate blogsites. 

To show my appreciation, I'ma buy you all a beer.

Note:  I said "all", not "each".  Bring lotsa straws...
================================================

================================================
THIS WEEK'S DAILYSCOFF READERS WERE SUBJECTED TO:

Gravelle's Guide to Selecting a Daycare Provider
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=207
A must read, unless you're not really all that attached to your kids...

Why Your Tax Dollars are Paying People to Read ME
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=202
Finally!  Government spends money on something worthwhile...

...and...

How Democrats "Saved" Wisconsin 15.2 Billion Dollars
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=210
Gotta give credit where it's due, hey...
================================================

================================================
SPECIAL SNEEK PREVIEW EXCLUSIVELY FOR FOX6 FANS:

EQUAL rights for bikers, yes.  But superior rights?  No.
I'ma get my azz kicked for writing this one, but it has to be done.
I've got bikers breaking the law on camera, and law enforcement
has been totally unresponsive about my submitted complaint.

Watch for it in one of next week's DailyScoff.com postings...
================================================

================================================
LAST WEEK'S NEWS HEADLINES YOU SHOULDA READED:

Alaska Voters Prefer to Elect Criminal over Democrat
[ LINK : Washington Post ]
That's a redundant headline, I'll grant you...

Gawrsh Goofy, Maybe Global Warming IS True
[ LINK : Business Media ]
I mean, if Disney pays Hannah Montana to sing about it...

...and...

The Hidden Danger of Lawn Mowing : Possible Drowning
[ LINK : KOLN / KGIN News ]
It's just one more way nature tries to kill us, and thus, it is
one more reason we should band together to kill nature first.

I wish I could fit all that on a bumper sticker, somehow.
================================================

Thanks for the click, hey...

-jjg

============
J. Gravelle
j@gravelle.us
Voice msg me:
1(641)715-0101
Code: *5227648
or online HERE
=============

My political blog posting has become a weekly endeavor offering excerpts from my blogging site: the Daily Scoff. This feature is published every Thursday with additional content exclusive to the Fox6 Community forums, and it's read by nearly a half-dozen people nationwide. Follow my daily blogging activities at: http://www.dailyscoff.com

Out of all the ideas the DNC has ever come up with, locking their fellow lefties in an improvised gulag probably isn't their worst.

You probably haven't seen the story about the Democrat Party preparing to inter their convention dissenters in a makeshift prison camp, so here 'tis:

http://www.9news.com/news/article.aspx?storyid=97741&c
atid=188

I'll apologize in advance for what I'm about to do to the memory of John Denver, whom I sincerely did (and do) admire for a number of reasons.  His is the kind of music that never leaves your head.

That's my clever way of sharing both the credit and the blame with Mr. Denver for the following bit of satire.  Sing along, won't you?


-------- [ To the tune of "Rocky Mountain High" ]  --------

It was built in the summer, the oh-eight election year
Brick and steel, surrounded with barbed wire
Made to de-tain dis-senters, that the left elite did fear
Guantanamo, but just a mile higher

At the first sign of a protest, the troops will be right there
Opinions are not welcome, can't you see?
If you have any in-put that you feel you need to share
Please clear it first with Dean and Pe-lo-si

[chorus]
It's the Guanta-NA-mo rocky mountain high
The press will not report it (you know why)
We know they're not objective
and Obama is their guy-y-y-y-y-y-y-y

  Rocky mountain high (Guanta-NA-mo)
  Rocky mountain high-yighhh (Guanta-NA-mo)


"It's concert day in Denver, come celebrate the Dems
We'll leave you feeling vibrant and alive!"
The DNC knows YOU can be convinced to vote for them
Once your brain has been oxygen deprived

Don't voice your disagreements, don't wave a picket sign
Just smile, applaud and have another beer
If your opinion differs from the standard party line
It's prob'ly something they don't want to hear

They'll just ignore your voices, they won't give you your say
Dismissing you as bigots filled with hate
And if the hea-vy handed leader-ship could have their way
They'd have themselves a modern day Kent State

[chorus]
It's the Guanta-NA-mo rocky mountain high
A peek at what's in store for you and I
Bend over, pucker up, and kiss your liberties goodbyyyyyye

  Rocky mountain high (Guanta-NA-mo)
  Rocky mountain high-yighhh (Guanta-NA-mo)

-----------------------------------------------------

I should also tip my hat to the late comedian Richard Jeni, whose take-off on "Annie's Song" is unmatched in its comedic genius.

Look for it, listen to it, and try your best not to pee.  It really IS that funny...


================================================
================================================
BULLETIN:  It's just been confirmed that I'll be filling in for
Kevin Fischer on his "This Just In" blog site on Friday, since
he's on WISN radio that afternoon doing Mark Belling's show.

In other words, I'm filling in for the guy who's filling in for
the guy who fills in for Rush Limbaugh.  Bow before me...
================================================
================================================


I NEVER SAW THIS COMING


My regular readers (and even, for that matter, the constipated ones) know that I reported launching an ad campaign for my website with a rural billboard:



You'll recall that I mentioned that a few unsightly trees had to be cleared to ensure an unobstructed view of the awe-inspiring beauty of... well, me.

Apparently some people get upset by that sort of thing.  Go figure.



I wasn't in the area when this picture was taken, and since the photographer posed as a sympathetic figure to get the photo, I'm securing his or her identity for their own safety.

The crowd had dispersed in a day or two, and by the time I got up there, a lone protester remained.



To be honest, he wasn't protesting me specifically, but the commercialization and development of that stretch of... of... well, of nothing.

Turns out he was a pretty nice guy.  As a local farmer, he understood the need to clear cut to make a living, and once I put it in those terms for him, he agreed not to stand near my billboard any more.

It's a shame they don't all listen to reason...

==================================

THIS WEEK'S DAILY SCOFF HIGHLIGHTED:

Liberals Against Wind Power
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=197

Synchronized Sodomy
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=194

...and...

NEW THIS WEEK - GRAVELLE'S SNEAK PEEK:
AN UPCOMING DAILY SCOFF EXCLUSIVE!
How to Beat a Speeding Ticket in Wisconsin!
Marvel at how my "Hero of the Month" did just that.
Oh, and with a little time and effort, you can too!

==================================

THIS WEEK'S NEWS HEADLINES

...couldn't be collected, due to time constraints.  Find 'em yer d*mn self.
Sheesh... I wrote you a song, put together a little photo essay...
...it's just never enough for you, is it?  Huh?  Is it?

Fine.  I do have ONE thing you should have seen.  Apparently:

It's Okay for TEN-Ton Trucks to Drive Over FIVE-Ton Bridges
http://www.acppubs.com/article/CA6587125.html?industry
id=48561
Turns out, all you need is a "permit".  You know what that means.
It means that it stops being dangerous to overload a bridge's
architectural capacity the second you write a check to Jim Doyle.

Thanks for the click, hey...

-jjg

============
J. Gravelle
j@gravelle.us
Voice msg me:
1(641)715-0101
Code: *5227648
or online HERE
=============

My political blog posting has become a weekly endeavor offering excerpts from my blogging site: the Daily Scoff. This feature is published every Thursday with additional content exclusive to the Fox6 Community forums, and it's read by nearly a half-dozen people nationwide. Follow my daily blogging activities at: http://www.dailyscoff.com

...and the Politics of Nature.


All I wanted was a billboard to advertise my little website.  But billboard space in the metropolitan Milwaukee area is cost prohibitive for a humble blogger like myself. (Shut up. I am too humble.  Read my profile.)

So I began investigating more rural options.  But various counties and townships have enacted ordinances restricting beautiful billboards from being erected at the edge of their ugly forests, making most of those  options expensive as well. 

Fortunately, I found a landowner in an unregulated county whose parcel was outside the jurisdiction of any incorporated municipality.  He had been trying to clear some space where a fairly well-traveled highway runs along his property line to erect a billboard, but local tree-huggers kept impeding his efforts.

It seems that nearly three quarters of an acre of what's called "old growth forest"  would have to be removed to make room for the sign and to clear enough visual space so that motorists' view and enjoyment of the advertising would be unimpeded.  The property owner needed a modest advertising commitment to raise enough money to finance a legal injunction against the trouble-making environmental-cases opposing him, as well as paying off the balance of the construction costs. 

Naturally, I cut him a check.

The summer really dragged on as I waited for the work to be completed.  In the interim, I changed my planned design for the billboard.  Inspired by the activists' futile efforts to stand in my way, I decided against the original plan which just featured my site's logo and address, and instead opted to be a little more provocative. 

I know, totally not like me, right?

In any event, the advertisement was unveiled this past week, and I couldn't be more happy with it:



This is obviously a daytime shot, but thanks to some state-of-the-art lighting, it's visible in the evening as well.

I was unaware that it was going to be lit so brightly at night, but I love it!  What's nice is that you can see the sky glowing off the powerful par lamps from a few miles away as you wind through the woods leading to the sign.

A few emails have arrived from people who have seen it already, and reactions are... let's say... "mixed".  I thought it might be fun to let you folks discover it for yourselves on your travels, and report back with your impressions.  Let me know what you think.

I'll have a follow-up report next week...

==============================


THIS WEEK'S DAILY SCOFF FEATURED:
 

 Proof Positive the DNR is Trying to Kill You:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=191
...and I'm paying them to do it...

 The Party of "Big Money Politics":
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=190
... and no, it's not the Republicans...

 My Foray into Political Cartooning:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=186
...I'll be watching the mail for my Pulitzer...

...and...

 I Teach Your Children a New Bad Word:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=192
...well, so much for that Pulitzer.


===============================

Incidentally, it has come to my attention that some of you are clicking on the various pro-Obama advertisements that randomly appear on my website to purposely funnel money out of his campaign and into my evil capitalist bank account. 

That's sneaky, and it's underhanded, and it's an unfair burden on the Democrat presidential campaign war-chest.

Anyway, I really appreciate it.  Thanks.

===============================


GRAVELLE'S 2008 OLYMPIC MOMENT in HISTORY:




===============================


IF YOU MISSED THE NEWS THIS WEEK
...then you might not know that:
 

Kids Play the Darndest Things
[ LINK : Associate Press ]
Of course, nothing cheeses off the left like a kid with a work ethic and a future,
so this little prodigy has got to be stopped before he grows up all independent.
Don't worry.  Jim Doyle and your government  are on his case...

The Chicks are ON TO US, Guys!
[ LINK : the London Times Online ]
This better not mean that I have to start showering every day...

...and...

It Took 19 Days to Sell a One Dollar House
[ LINK : Detroit News ]
This in a city with a Democrat mayor, under a Democrat county executive,
in a state with a Democrat governor, and a Democrat-controlled House of Representatives,
which, by the way, is another  house in Michigan nobody'd want for a dollar.


===============================


QUOTE OF THE WEEK:

"It really serves no purpose to continue talking about it.
...
At some point, it's gotta be let go."
- Brett Favre 08/07/08

Unfortunately, I seem to be the only person in America who heard him say it,
including  the reporters he said it to who hammered him with follow-up questions afterward.

Thanks for the click, hey...

-jjg

============
J. Gravelle
j@gravelle.us
Voice msg me:
1(641)715-0101
Code: *5227648
or online HERE
=============

My political blog posting has become a weekly endeavor offering excerpts from my blogging site: the Daily Scoff. This feature is published every Thursday with additional content exclusive to the Fox6 Community forums, and it's read by nearly a half-dozen people nationwide. Follow my daily blogging activities at: http://www.dailyscoff.com

(Background:  the "Alternative Minimum Tax" is a system put in place to guarantee that some people can't take all the tax breaks they are legally entitled to.  I want to pay even MORE taxes than even the AMT allows for.  Way more.  On one condition...)

I saw a Socialist a Democrat a Liberal a Progressive a Commie Rat Bastard somebody posit this notion facetiously online [ LINK ] as a rebuttal to a complaint about the existing AMT, and I think the idea has actual merit. 

My thought on this springs from a hypothetical that I routinely shoot across the bows of politicians, both sitting and aspiring.  That question is this: 

"How much is enough?" 

At what point would you be willing to say 'Gravelle is finally paying his "fair" share'?  Usually, after an expected amount of hemming and hawing about "excessive" wealth (whatever THAT is) 50% seems to be the detente.  Often, the justification is "Well if I had ten million, I probably wouldn't miss five of it" or some such nonsense. 

Fine.  Take half.  But ONLY half, that's my caveat.  Fifty percent tops.



So here's my proposition:

I will sign away 50% of my gross income every day, of every week, of every month, of every year to a centralized taxing authority of some sort, on the condition that I won't be taxed another penny directly or indirectly, ever. 

Consider it on its merits: 50/50 is as even (and thus "fair") a split as you can make with somebody.  One for me, one for you.  Two for me, two for you.  Half my money goes toward the "greater common good" (and there's no greater good than getting a leftist to shut the hell up) while the rest of my earnings stay in my pocket, ready to satisfy my greedy desire to eat food and sleep indoors.

Once placed into the central "hopper", the money can be fought over by the various local, municipal, village, county, state, and federal hyenas like the fresh, tender carcass of a delicious [insert endangered species here].

There will probably be some sort of membership card, or implanted microchip, or barcode tattoo that has to be used to identify me as an "Alternative Maximum Taxpayer".  I'm fine with that.  Just remember the primary condition:  that I won't be taxed one cent above 50% of my earnings, directly or indirectly, ever.  You don't tax my savings nor my investments, because that money has already been taxed.  I also get a universal "Get Out of Paying Indirect Business Taxes Free Card".



Understand the upside:  Those of us paying the "MaxTax" would pay half as much as everybody else for beer, and a third less for pizza and only about forty bucks to stay in a one-hundred dollar hotel room.  The party animals among us would get four bottles of hard liquor to every one you bought and a three dollar pack of cigarettes would run me only 54 cents.

I'd be pumping two dollar a gallon gas into the car I bought for 54% of what you other shlubs were paying.

The fact is that right now, I fork over WAY more than 50% of my income in taxes, directly and indirectly.  And you probably do too, if you sit down and do the math.  Take the pizza example, you pay:

• Farm Subsidies
• Gas Tax(es) for the delivery of the ingredients as well as the pizza AND the fuel to run the ovens and heat the restaurant
• Employee Taxes for the food processing people, delivery truck builders, and restaurant workers
• The business' Property Tax toward the roads and streetlamps and traffic cops
• Mandated insurance costs and the tax(es) on those and other mandated services
• etc
• and so on
• ad infinitum
• doo dah, doo dah

Conservatively, a 50% absolutely-flat-tax rate would cut my taxes by about a third.  That's beyond sad.  It's criminal and indefensible (though I'm certain at least one local criminal will try in vain to defensible it).

With the current system, if I make 100,000 per year, I suffer about a 40% combined Federa/State income tax hit AND I routinely pay two to three times as much for commercial goods to subsidize business and corporate taxes indirectly.  That leaves me with about a third of my earnings, at the end of the day.



Under MY self-realized (ergo: brilliant) system, I'd not only retain my half ($50k), but that money would have the buying power of up to $150,000 because I wouldn't have to subsidize governmental overhead beyond my 50% commitment.

So call your congressman and tell them to support Gravelle's Alternative Maximum Tax.  If it actually becomes law, I'll even buy you a beer.

Oh, what the heck, I'll buy you two.  They'd only cost me half as much anyway...


========================

This Week, I Daily Scoff'ed at:


Political Proctology
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=184

Hypocritical Environmentalists... Twice!
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=183
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=178

...and...

Mayor Barrett
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=185
...because (for once) he won't take my money

====================================

Here's the News You Shoulda Oughtta Seen:


The DNR Can Dump 120 Pounds of Goose Poo Where Your Children Swim
http://badgerblogger.com/?p=7336
...but allow an Italian restaurant?   Why, THAT would be bad for the environment...

Democrat Party Shuts Down the Democracy
http://sweetness-light.com/archive/pelosi-cuts-lights-
mikes-in-oil-debate
That pesky first amendment doesn't apply to Nancy Pelosi...

...and...

'P' is for Patton
Warning:  Don't click this link.  Just... don't
Note to self:  avoid Magic Mountain Fun Center

Thanks for the click, hey...

-jjg

============
J. Gravelle
j@gravelle.us
Voice msg me:
1(641)715-0101
Code: *5227648
or online HERE
=============

My political blog posting has become a weekly endeavor offering excerpts from my blogging site: the Daily Scoff. This feature is published every Thursday with additional content exclusive to the Fox6 Community forums, and it's read by nearly a half-dozen people nationwide. Follow my daily blogging activities at: http://www.dailyscoff.com

Last week's launch of my "Politics for Kids" project was such an imperceptible success that I've decided to follow it up with a second chapter:
 


Harry built a house.  He painted it green, because green was his favorite color.

Karl built a house next to Harry's house.  Karl painted HIS house red, because red was HIS favorite color.  Karl HATED green.

"It sure would be nice if we both had red houses, Harry..." Karl hinted.  But Harry just smiled.  He was happy that both of them were free to paint their houses whatever color they wanted.

But Karl wasn't satisfied.  He wished he could force Harry to paint his house red too.

Another house was soon built on the other side of Harry's property.  The owner, Josef, painted HIS new house red, just like Karl's.

"Ha!" exclaimed Karl.  "This proves that red is the best color that a house can be!"  Josef agreed, and together, the two of them knocked on Harry's door.

"We demand you paint your ugly green house!" Karl scowled.  "Paint it red like ours!"

"But why?" Harry asked.  "Why can't everybody have the color house THEY want?  What gives you the right to force me to paint my house red?"

"There are TWO of us!" Karl threatened.  "We voted, and you have to do what we say.  You're outnumbered!"

Harry sighed and picked up a paintbrush.  He painted his house red, because he knew that once you were out-voted, you'd lost your freedom to choose for yourself.

The next day, a new neighbor arrived.  His name was Walter. 

Walter's skin was a different color.  Karl and Josef didn't like that either.

They decided to have another vote...

============================

This Week's Daily Scoff Angered:


Nature-Nuts:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=178

Obama Nuts:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=177

Health Nuts:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=176

...and...

Democrats*:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=175

*Adding "Nuts" to that one would have been redundant...

============================

This Week's Blatantly Self-Serving Cross Promotion
was brought to you by the fine folks at the
Brookfield Convention and Visitors Bureau:



============================

My Viewz on the Nooz for Yooz:


People Who Compulsively Steal Bras...
http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=778257

...should form a "support" group...

When New Berlin Mayor Jack Chiovatero vetoes something...
http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=776299

...it was probably a pretty good idea.  And when Alderman
Bill Moore agrees with him, it means it was a GREAT idea...

...and...

There Are More Cows in West Allis Than Usual...
http://www.wisconsinagconnection.com/story-state.php?I
d=925&yr=2008
...'cuz it's State Fair time again.  And if I win another
blue ribbon for "Biggest Pig", that'll be like eleven years in a row.

=================================
      Vote for Bob Barr in 2008, Dammit
=================================

Thanks for the click, hey...

-jjg

============
J. Gravelle
j@gravelle.us
Voice msg me:
1(641)715-0101
Code: *5227648
or online HERE
=============

My political blog posting has become a weekly endeavor offering excerpts from my blogging site: the Daily Scoff. This feature is published every Thursday with additional content exclusive to the Fox6 Community forums, and it's read by nearly a half-dozen people nationwide. Follow my daily blogging activities at: http://www.dailyscoff.com

During a not-infrequent psychotropic episode of some sort, one prolific reader of my weekly postings inadvertently cajoled me into pursuing this project. It's something I'd considered for some time, and I'm grateful for his unintended inspiration:

Imagine that two playground bullies take some of your lunch money every day. Nobody at your school says anything, because the bullies "have always done that" and "that's just the way things are". Mostly though, everybody's afraid of standing up to them.

Now imagine that the bullies got into a fight over what to spend YOUR money on, and they wanted YOU (and all their other victims) to settle the argument by voting.

The first bully, Barry, promises to buy everybody on the playground some candy. Hearing this, all the kids go "mmmmmmm". You scratch your head, confused.

"He's buying it with your own money!" you cry. But nobody seems to listen. Half of them start chanting "Bar-ry! Bar-ry!" You even hear a couple girls whisper about how cute he is.

The other bully, Johnny, says he's going to buy cool video games. He promises to invite all the kids over to his house to play Army Simulator 2008. All the kids go "coooooool", but you scratch your head again.

"He's buying it with your own money!" you loudly insist. But nobody can hear you, because now the other half of the kids are yelling "John-ny! John-ny!"

Eventually, the noise dies down.  The votes are counted, and it's a tie. Everybody looks at you. It's up to you to decide.

"I vote we all keep our own money and buy our own stuff!" you blurt out. There's a moment of stunned silence before the playground erupts in gasps.

"He wasted his vote!" the crowd mumbles. You turn and walk away, leaving them to fight this out among themselves. The crowd is too big for you to hope to get your money back, but by refusing to vote for either bully, you get to go home with something that none of the other kids have:

You still have your integrity and your principles.  And nobody can take those things from you.  They're yours to keep if you're strong, yours to give away if you're weak, and yours to sell if you're greedy.

Remember, once they're gone, you can't buy them back.  And nobody else can buy them for you, either...

===========================

This Week's Daily Scoff Explained:
 

Why Angelina Jolie Digs Me
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=163
...or, maybe it's the other way 'round.
I get a little dyslexic when the blood
rushes from my head.  Er, "brain"...

Why Shorewood Village Hates Old Bags
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=165
...and why they'll hate the new ones too...

...and...

Why the Journal Sentinel Doesn't (Completely) Suck
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=169
Every so often, they show impeccable taste
in excerpting guest commentary from some
of the area's most talented (and dare I say,
"ruggedly handsome") bloggers.

You gotta love that...
 

===========================

Read Your Own Damn News

Rather than mine for miscellaneous news headlines this week, I've opted instead to offer mad props (that's "a tip of the hat" for all y'all suburbans) to my man Only1Antoine for the best blogging headline in recent memory:

Pull Your Damn Pants Up

It's a perfect title, in that you know what the entire commentary will encompass.  Without reading another word, you know precisely what he's irked about.

It's not only concise, it's inspiring.  It brings to mind a few other headlines that synopsize things I've been meaning to rant about, but haven't gotten around to.  For example:

Turn Your Damn Radio Down;

Get Your Damn Car Outta the Left Lane;

Move Your Damn Shopping Cart to the Side of the Aisle; and

Hang Up Your Damn Cell Phone, Pick Up Your Damn Crying Baby, and Get Outta the Damn Movie Theater... We're Trying to Enjoy This Porno

Perhaps we can all strive for this type of clarity when composing our posting titles from now on.
 

Thanks for the damn click, hey...

-jjg

============
J. Gravelle
j@gravelle.us
Voice msg me:
1(641)715-0101
Code: *5227648
or online HERE
=============

My political blog posting has become a weekly endeavor offering excerpts from my blogging site: the Daily Scoff. This feature is published every Thursday with additional content exclusive to the Fox6 Community forums, and it's read by nearly a half-dozen people nationwide. Follow my daily blogging activities at: http://www.dailyscoff.com

 

Robert Redford is fighting global warming with poetry.  At times like this, I almost regret being such a facetious smartazz, because some of you won't believe me.  But here's the LINK.

It takes some of the sport out of ridiculing somebody when they're already ridiculous.  I toyed with the idea of maybe composing my own square dance to cure cancer, or bringing peace to the Middle East with a finger painting, but deadly diseases and protracted holy wars don't hold the sort of wry, humorous potential you might think they do.  Plus, nothing rhymes with "colorectal carcinoma" or "Ahmadinijad", although they are synonymous.

Instead, I'm extending an olive branch to the Sunspot Kid, poking him in the ribs with it (admittedly, not my first impulse) and enjoining his pointless noble effort with my own global warming poem.  I'll warn you ahead of time: although his poetry is really bad... mine's verse.

Ahem.


Global Warning
(Fighting Rhyme with Rhyme)

The Earth gets warm and colder
by itself, and here's what's strange:
We used to call it "Warming"
now it's "Man-Made Climate Change";

See, Al Gore made a movie
and now evvvvvv'rybody cares,
because it seems we're drowning
all the cartoon polar bears;

"An Inconvenient Truth"
had teardrops streaming from the eyes
of those who couldn't see through
all of Gore's convenient lies;

George Bush is like the Once-ler
chopping down the forest's trees,
and Gore's the Nobel Lorax
(out to vanquish SUVs);

But Al has got to fly to fight
environmental crime,
burning more gas in one year
than you in your lifetime;

The end result?  The Gores pollute
more than a dozen homes
(But Robert Redford makes up
for it all by writing poems);

"Gravelle?" You're saying "Dude,
how can this conflict be the norm?"
Hypocrisy, my friend
is in the DNC's platform;

It's not about the planet, folks.
Look closely, and you'll find
it's all about the power
(not the wind or solar kind);

So they'll ignore the scientists
who question "warming" bunk,
then use our fear to grow their party?
Golly, who'da thunk?

Believe in all the "warnings"
as though Gore were your best pal,
but just remember... I'M the guy
who warned you about AL.


Global Warming?  No.  But plenty of hot air...


=======================================

This Week's Daily Scoff featured:


An EXCLUSIVE on the Brett Favre trade:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=156
You may not have heard, but he wants
to play football again.  No, really!
Find out which team is taking him.

Why Holly Hunter Gets My Heart Pounding:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=161
in a different way than she used to.

...and...

How One Little Bird Can Wreck a Car
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=155
and goad me into becoming something
of a Jingo Gringo this week.
 
Twice, if you count this story:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=160


========================================

STUFF YOU PROBABLY MISSED IN THE NEWS
...but nothing escapes my keen eye for detales:


Amish Businesses Thrive in Wisconsin
http://www.madison.com/tct/business/294571
...thanks to their tax-exempt status. Hmmmm.

Bearded Woman Gives Birth
[ LINK ]
Meanwhile, everybody in Cudahy wonders why that's news.

...and...

Andy Dick Was Arrested in California
[ LINK ]
...and this is a related story from New York.
It seems there's one on each coast...


=========================================

Handy Internet Tip of the Week:

For those of you who need a mnemonic device to help remember how to find me on the Internet, you'll be happy to know that I'm the number one result on Google for the search phrase:

"Narcissistic womanizing white guy"

Why do you not look surprised?


Thanks for the click, hey...

-jjg

============
J. Gravelle
j@gravelle.us
Voice msg me:
1(641)715-0101
Code: *5227648
or online HERE
=============

My political blog posting has become a weekly endeavor offering excerpts from my blogging site: the Daily Scoff. This feature is published every Thursday with additional content exclusive to the Fox6 Community forums, and it's read by nearly a half-dozen people nationwide. Follow my daily blogging activities at: http://www.dailyscoff.com

Milwaukee's City Hall is shown here during its transformation:



...annnnnd here we see it afterward:



While Mayor Barrett has downplayed his role in the modifications to the new exterior, those familiar with his politics can perhaps detect a subtle yet distinct hint of Hizonner's influence...


========================================

This Week's Daily Scoff Offered Handy Advice on:
 

Sex With Dead People
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=154

How to Get a Naked Woman to Notice You
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=153

How to Ride Free in Taxicabs, Ambulances, and Police Cars
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=152

...and...

Why You Shouldn't Pay $7,000 per Gallon for Dog Water
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=149


========================================

Here's My Compilation of Last Week's Importantest Nooz:
...presented each week as a public service for those of
you who may be new to the planet.  Yes, we know you're
among us, and we know who you are.  How?  Well, for
one thing, there's that Obama '08 bumper sticker...


Toyota Unveils New Solar Powered Prius
http://crave.cnet.com/8301-1_105-9985501-1.html
Estimated cost: about $24,000 and both testicles.
Don't worry guys, once you get behind the wheel of THIS
mobile emasculator, you won't need 'em any more...

Somebody from California Liked it Here!
[ LINK : Biz Blog ]
Is our self-esteem THAT low that THIS is newsworthy?!

Milwaukee Working Women Enjoy Short Commute
[ LINK : Chicago Tribune ]
On the plus side:  fewer women drivers on the road.
Conversely, the odds have increased that the hot
blonde you're honking and whistling at will turn out
to be a dude...

...and...

New Bones Are Not On Display at the Museum
http://www.wkowtv.com/Global/story.asp?S=8640989
Soooo... why'd they buy 'em in the first place?!


=============================

This Week's Plea for Understanding

I'm not sure why I keep pleading.  You people have been no help whatsoever yet.  But something tells me I'll get some feedback on this.

Ladies, how morbidly obese would you have to be to not know you're pregnant?

And I'd also like a show of hands:  Of those of you who have given birth... how many of you didn't realize you were in labor during the delivery?

Finally, for those of you who were stupid brave enough to read the story, where WAS the baby, anyway?  I paid rapt attention during the sex-ed portion of my biology class back in the late 1800s, and I don't recall any mention of you chicks having a pouch, soooo it had to be somewhere around her--  ewwwwwwwwww!

Okay, maybe it's best I don't get explanations when I ask for 'em.


Thanks for the click, hey...

-jjg

============
J. Gravelle
j@gravelle.us
Voice msg me:
1(641)715-0101
Code: *5227648
or online HERE
=============

My political blog posting has become a weekly endeavor offering excerpts from my blogging site: the Daily Scoff. This feature is published every Thursday with additional content exclusive to the Fox6 Community forums, and it's read by nearly a half-dozen people nationwide. Follow my daily blogging activities at: http://www.dailyscoff.com

It brings people closer together:


You get to meet the kids from your neighborhood:


It's environmentally friendly:


It's a great way to interact with other people:


A complete stranger might strike up a conversation with you:


...and besides, having to car-jack somebody every morning can really add to your commute time.  Not to mention the hassle of robbing old ladies for gas money.

But the folks at MCTS take care of all those details for you.  Their friends at the local taxing authority suck the money from the savings of area fixed-income retirees FOR you, so all you have to do is sit back, relax, clutch that mace canister to your bosom and enjoy the ride...


==========================================

This Week's Daily Scoff Readers Already Know That:


Shooting Bad Guys is a Good Thing:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=147

Conejitos es el Restaurante de Sucko Mucho, Ahora
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=143

I Had to Be Nice to Russ Feingold
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=140

...and...

There Are Differences Between Wisconsin Bears and Chicago Bears
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=142


======================================

Here's the News I Found and Read For You
...while you were shooting terrorists at the Army's Summerfest boof:


Kids Get Paid by Gov't to Go Postal
...or go jump in a lake [ LINK ]

Pentagon Tells the EPA to Go Shove it in a Landfill
... and don'cha wish WE could too? [ LINK ]

Female Pilot Lands Iraqi-Bound Helicopter in Dane County
The men aboard the craft insisted they weren't lost, but
she stopped to ask directions anyway... [ LINK ]

...and...

60 Year-Old Female Teacher Having Sex With Boys
...making this the first time I've ever really felt sorry for any of these dudes [ LINK ]

============================

Thought for the Week
( because one is usually my limit )

If you're a new-age whack-job who is upset at the prospect of punching holes in ANWAR, then don't think of it as "drilling for oil".

Consider it more like "acupuncture therapy" for Mother Earth.

Kinda gives ya warm-fuzzies, no?



Thanks for the click, hey...

-jjg

============
J. Gravelle
j@gravelle.us
Voice msg me:
1(641)715-0101
Code: *5227648
or online HERE
=============

My political blog posting has become a weekly endeavor offering excerpts from my blogging site: the Daily Scoff. This feature is published every Thursday with additional content exclusive to the Fox6 Community forums, and it's read by nearly a half-dozen people nationwide. Follow my daily blogging activities at: http://www.dailyscoff.com

 Karl:  Hiya neighbor!

 Harry:  Say, whadda ya have there?

 Karl:  This is my new pet bunny, Moochie.

 Harry:  Wow, he's adorable.

 Karl:  Yeah, but to tell you the truth, I'm in over my head here.  I don't know the first thing about bunnies.

 Harry:  Then, why did you decide to get -- ?

 Karl:  So anyway, I'm here because I need a cage, some food, maybe a little bunny sweater for the winter...

 Harry:  I don't have any of those things.

 Karl:  No, of course not.  But you DO have a checkbook, don'cha neighbor?

 Harry:  You want me to buy you all those -- ?

 Karl:  Nah, you won't have to lift a finger.  I'LL go buy everything.

 Harry:  With MY money?!

 Karl:  Look, food, shelter and clothing are basic needs--

 Harry:  Bunnies don't need sweaters!

 Karl:  Hey, I don't tell you how to raise your bunnies.

 Harry:  I don't have any bunnies!

 Karl:  Well then you have absolutely no idea what it's like for those of us who do.  Who are YOU to judge? *Sniffle* Until you've hopped a mile in these little paws--

 Harry:  *Sigh*  Who do I make the check out to?

 Karl:  The "Institute for Rabbit Survival", or "I. R. S." if you're pressed for time.  Oh, and my roommate just bought a kitten.  Might wanna make out another check for the "Aid to Families with Domestic Cats" too.  That's "A.F.D.C." for short...

 Harry:  Got any pet leeches?

 Karl:  Eww, no!  That'd be gross!

 Harry:  Not to mention redundant.


 
The Entitlement Bunny.  He just keeps going, and going, and going...


===================================
THIS WEEK'S DAILY SCOFF READERS SAW:


- An area blogger upset when some of us called a riot a riot:
Original post:  http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=138
Ensuing debate:from "Blogging Blue"
Read the thread.  It's a riot...

- Exclusive: Another Milwaukee Alderman behind bars:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=139
Got'cher hopes up, don't I?

...and...

- My praise for Russ Feingold:
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=140
Yeah, you read that right.  Russ done a good thing, and I'm forced to admit it...


Incidentally, my DailyScoff.com blogsite hit a readership milestone of 5,000 this past week.  Even discounting the two or three thousand times that I've clicked over there to admire myself, those are pretty good numbers.

Thanks for reading...


=======================================
HERE'S WHAT ELSE HAPPENED IN THE WORLD
...while you were surfing for porn or gambling online:


Jaime Lynn Spears named her daughter after a children's book:
http://www.stuff.co.nz/4597610a1860.html
...and thus, we welcome little "Winne the Pooh Spears" into the world...

U.S. Government Searching for Salmonella in Mexico
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25335265/
...next on their agenda, finding bad drivers in Asia...

...and...

Iran is Six Months from Having a Nuclear Weapon
http://wcbstv.com/national/israel.iran.attack.2.755478
.html
Oh, if only we had a Muslim on the ballot this November...


============
...AND FINALLY...

This week's closing words come from the late George Carlin, who opined that:
"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck."

Somebody get the ladder and a broom. 


And thanks for the click, hey...

-jjg

============
J. Gravelle
j@gravelle.us
Voice msg me:
1(641)715-0101
Code: *5227648
or online HERE
=============

My political blog posting has become a weekly endeavor offering excerpts from my blogging site: the Daily Scoff. This feature is published every Thursday with additional content exclusive to the Fox6 Community forums, and it's read by nearly a half-dozen people nationwide. Follow my daily blogging activities at: http://www.dailyscoff.com

Why would I say such a thing?  Because I can.  Not only can I say it, but I can say it without fear of retribution.  In fact, some years ago I wore a t-shirt with that slogan on it to (of all places) the Wisconsin State Fair.

If you weren't aware, the State Fair is a Caucasian Mecca.  My honky-hatred was fostered while working for a band playing the entire week at the Old Style Country Heartland Yee Haw Yeah Boy Howdy stage, when one too many drunken white people spilled one of those three gallon beer cups on the soundboard.  I mopped it up with the last of my clean shirts, then scooted across the aisle on the next break to a custom airbrush vendor and ordered my new "I Hate White People" t-shirt.


Presidential hopeful Barack Obama campaigning at the Wisconsin State Fairgrounds

The African-American gentleman who did the work shifted his eyes nervously from side to side and, once satisfied he wasn't on television, moved his easel to a corner and went to work.  I wasn't shown the finished product.  It went into an opaque brown bag and he set it on the far end of the counter.

"How much?" I asked.

"Just pick it up and go" he said.  Sweet.  Free T.

Here's the kicker:  I got zero heat for wearing that shirt.  At the Wisconsin State Fair, mind you.  None.  A few brothers asked me if I was crazy.  I asked them if they wanted to wear it.  Then they TOLD me I was crazy.

But nothing else happened.  No white activists picketed.  I wasn't charged with a hate crime.  Even compounding my political incorrectness by naming my Yahoo! Fantasy Football team "the Honky Crackers" year after year has resulted in no sanctions, penalties, civil unrest, or even the slightest admonishment.

From time to time, something reminds me of this episode.  Whether it's white people crying "How come THEY can use the 'N' word?" or the Fox6 blogger this past week who said something to the effect that "the world reviles the American white person but holds the African American in high esteem", there are some vile and disgusting things that some of us can say without fear of retribution, while the rest of us cannot.

No, that's not fair.  But life's not fair.  Even AT the Fair...

[ DISCLAIMER: After doing some research, I've discovered that there may be a few white people in MY family's lineage.  I know, I was shocked too.  I am now trying to slowly come to terms with who I am.  If I can get myself to the point where I can listen to an entire Martina McBride song without wanting to punch somebody, perhaps I'll be ready to embrace my crackerosity...]


===================================
THIS WEEK'S DAILY SCOFF READERS SAW:

The Mega-Monster That Attacked Wisconsin
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=132

Stewie's Naked Butt
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=130

...and...

Teenage Girls in Swimsuits
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=129

Go ahead, try NOT to click on that last one.  Yeah, I knew you would.
'Cuz you're a pig like me, that's why...


=====================================
NEWS FROM THE WORLD-WIDE-WHATEVER:

Counterfeiters Busted in Slinger, WI
... police became suspicious when bills found in circulation featured the face of NASCAR's Matt Kenseth...

Chinese Make 4.1 Million Dollar Flying Saucer
Craft flies to 1000 meters, despite the weight of all that lead paint...

...and...

Police Prepared to Shoot Citizens Who Protest Democrats
Here's a tip:  Preface all your protests with "I'M GAY" and they'll have to listen to you...


========================
THIS WEEK'S PLEA FOR HELP:

Could somebody... anybody... please explain to me the appeal of Amy Friggin' Winehouse?



Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh!!!


Thanks for the click, hey...

-jjg

============
J. Gravelle
j@gravelle.us
Voice msg me:
1(641)715-0101
Code: *5227648
or online HERE
=============

My political blog posting has become a weekly endeavor offering excerpts from my blogging site: the Daily Scoff. This feature is published every Thursday with additional content exclusive to the Fox6 Community forums, and it's read by nearly a half-dozen people nationwide. Follow my daily blogging activities at: http://www.dailyscoff.com

He's just offering platitudes
"Change" is his attitude
Nothing should re-main the same

Between Dems and their gloating
(and them double-voting)
it'll all go to h*ll
and you'll know who to blame

Don't buy the hype and you
won't ... share ... the ... blaaaaame



There. I've got Parrot-Heads humming along, and everybody else grumbling that "Gravelle got that d*mn song stuck in my head."

My work here is done...



================================
Only the Coolest Among You Saw These
Articles from the Past Week's Daily Scoff:

the Beach Boys Obama Song
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=127
In case you want to shake that Buffet song outta your head.
Just reading the headline should do it for ya...

Father's Day Gift Ideas
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=126
Between the weather and the economy,
help Dad keep his head above water...

You Won't Let Your Kids Eat Twinkies
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=124
...but you'll let them swim in poo?
Actually, the tubby girl shown on the news frolicking
in the sewage wearing a tiny bikini apparently gets to do both.
Hopefully, not at the same time. Yeeeeesh...



============================
Headlines That You Tried to Ignore
...but I'ma not gon' let'cha:


Hizonner (and off 'er)
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-kozinski12-200
8jun12,0,6220192.story
Judge shows bad judgment in computer use, but excellent taste in porn...

Yay, I Have an Excuse
http://blogs.wsj.com/buzzwatch/2008/06/10/idea-watch-i
s-google-making-us-stupid/?mod=googlenews_wsj
Turns out, Google makes us stupid(-er).
And you were gonna blame blogging...

India Discovers Liberal Hypocrisy
LINK
What next? New Delhi Astronomer Finds Moon?

...and finally...

Government Commissioner Demands "Zero Waste"
http://www.gazette.net/stories/061208/frednew175339_32
360.shtml
I suppose cramming his head up his a*s is a good start.
But that'll only work for so long. Still, it must be a good idea
since every bureaucrat in the country seems to do likewise...


Thanks for the click, hey...

-jjg

============
J. Gravelle
j@gravelle.us
Voice msg me:
1(641)715-0101
Code: *5227648
or online HERE
=============

My political blog posting has become a weekly endeavor offering excerpts from my blogging site: the Daily Scoff. This feature is published every Thursday with additional content exclusive to the Fox6 Community forums, and it's read by nearly a half-dozen people nationwide. Follow my daily blogging activities at: http://www.dailyscoff.com

Grocer: Welcome to People's Supermarket, sir. Help you find anything?

Customer: Just grabbing a loaf of bread. Hmm... no price tag. How much is it?

Grocer: Well, how much do you earn?

Customer: S'cuze me?

Grocer: Ooh... is that your BMW out front? Sweeeet! Looks like you could afford abowwwwwt... twenty-nine dollars?

Customer: For a loaf of-- are you insane?

Grocer: No need for name calling, sir. But I suppose you COULD consider me globally aware.

Customer: And how does thirty dollar bread qualify YOU as "globally aware"?!

Grocer: Well clearly, I'm offsetting your huge carbon footprint with my "progressive pricing" structure. The more of your money I take, the less you can spend on gas. Plus, since you obviously earn way more than me, I'm helping to bridge the prosperity gap too.

Customer: Look, you can't charge me a higher price just because I earn and save more than other--

Grocer: Happens all the time, my friend. Checked your tax bills lately? You get the same national defense, highways, police and fire protection as the rest of us, but I bet you get charged more FOR it, don'cha? I'm just catching up with Uncle Sam's way of doing things.

Oh, and our wheat germ is on sale this week. Interested?

Customer: And how much does THAT cost?

Grocer: Sayyy... nice watch!

Customer: I'm outta here.

Grocer: What about your bread?

Customer: Look, despite the nice car and watch, there are some things I can't afford.

Grocer: You can't afford bread?

Customer: No, I can't afford "progressivism". For that matter, none of us can...

---

---

Stuff I Won't Write

I have my standards. Stop giggling. Shut up! I do TOO have my standards.
In fact, here's something I considered including in this week's post:

Kennedy's Brain Surgery
The hospital has assembled a team of the nation's top proctologists...

...but I decided not to because it's in such bad taste. Proud of me? I know I am...


======================================================
The Invaluable Wisdom in This Week's Daily Scoff 'Splained Many Thingz, Including:

Why Bill Clinton Had Sex with Gina Gershon
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=120

Why Doyle Can Cut Salaries and Benefits
...and it's virtually ignored by the state media
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=119

Why a Rusty Metal Box = Social(ist) Security
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=118

...and...

Why Goober REALLY Paid His 1987 Parking Ticket
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=115
Duh.


====================================
News Nobody Ain't Talkin' About None Hardly:

Sharon Stone's Party Turns Its Back on Her
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=080604063258.0
q2051rr&show_article=1
Why yes, as a matter of fact it IS the Communist Party!
Karma apparently has a great sense of humor...

Maybe He'll Win a "Sweepstakes"
[ LINK ]
Lovable or not, Ed McMahon served as a pitchman for the notorious Publishers' Clearinghouse scam. It would be disingenuous of me to pretend that I care he's losing his house. So I won't.

Again with the Karma. Weird...

Big Congress
http://www.safehaven.com/article-10369.htm
Props to Tom Ender's Endervidualism service for flagging this story for me.
If you aren't on his email list, y'oughtta be.

...and finally...

Aussies Discover AIDS Prevention
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=080604112709.h
8znvfef&show_article=1
Guys, apparently rubbing lotion on your junk on a regular basis will protect you from AIDS.
Apparently, the more routinely you apply the cream, the more statistically unlikely it becomes that you'll contract the disease.

This then, puts my chances of contracting HIV at approximately .00000000000003%...

-jjg

============
J. Gravelle
j@gravelle.us
Voice msg me:
1(641)715-0101
Code: *5227648
or online HERE
=============

My political blog posting has become a weekly endeavor offering excerpts from my blogging site: the Daily Scoff. This feature is published every Thursday with additional content exclusive to the Fox6 Community forums, and it's read by nearly a half-dozen people nationwide. Follow my daily blogging activities at: http://www.dailyscoff.com

I'm just a bill
Yes, I'm only a bill
and I'm dyin' here
on Capitol Hill

You know the
price of our gasoline
gets higher each day
and we refuse
to drill for oil
in the U.S.A.
'cuz the Democrats
are in the wayyy

How I hope and pray
that we'll drill
but I really doubt
O-bama wil
l
No there won't be a bill
that allows us to drill
so we'll have to buy
our oil from Brazil

Or Can-a-duh, I know
you're thinking
"Dude, what the heck
makes us stay obligated
to the crooks at OPEC?"

Do you really need me
to explain? It's the DNC
can't you see?
And it's also that kook
John McCain

You see Timmy, high gas prices make people more accepting of centralized public transit. That increases our dependency on government, making it bigger and bigger until--

Until we live in the Socialist Utopia that Maxine Waters told us she planned to institute?

Now you've got it!

Makes my blood boil
when they're blaming "Big Oil"
but they won't allow a hole in the soil

So we'll just halt all progress
and I'll turn off my car
so the car-i-bou
up in friggin' ANWAR
can enjoy a better life than US

Now I'm all done making a fuss
and it's time for me
to catch my bus...

=============================
In this week's Daily Scoff, you missed:

the Super Genintari
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=108
A guy in Wisconsin custom builds his own video game consoles. My favorite is the one that plays Atari 2600, NES, SNES or Genesis games. It's all-in-one, allowing you to switch back and forth between platforms without messing with cabling. He also made nearly $10,000 by stuffing a Sony PS3 into a laptop.

It's painful to admit it, but the kid doing this stuff is perhaps even cooler than me...

Helpful Democrats and Pushy Republicans
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=107
Media bias? No way! I know...

...and...

Stoopid Questions...
http://www.dailyscoff.com/?p=109
...that we'll ask about careless firearm usage, but not reckless truck driving...

==========================
News What I Readed For Youse:

the World to End in June
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=080527182918.1
m4p4ung&show_article=1
I've been assured that I'm being "left behind", so send me all your money and stuff.
You aren't gonna need it. You're being raptured, 'member?

Allergic to Progress
http://kob.com/article/stories/S451152.shtml?cat=517
Ten bucks sez not one of 'em is a registered Republican

...and...

Literally, the Electoral College
http://blogs.jsonline.com/allpoliticswatch/archive/200
8/05/23/efforts-to-increase-campus-turnout-under-way.as
px#comments
The JSOnline Political Blog crowed about how Wisconsin college kids vote more than the rest of the nation.
I pointed out that they vote more OFTEN, too..

====================
This Week's Plea for Help

S'plain My Spam
I get emails every day telling me that I'm too fat and need to "lose weight now", that I'm going bald (but there's a cure the government doesn't want me to know about), and that I suffer from erectile dysfunction and need lots of Viagra. And yet, despite all my um... "shortcomings", apparently there are "hot hot hot teenage co-eds" eager to hook up with me.

I'll never understand women...

-jjg

============
J. Gravelle
j@gravelle.us
Voice msg me:
1(641)715-0101
Code: *5227648
or online HERE
=============

My political blog posting has become a weekly endeavor offering excerpts from my blogging site: the Daily Scoff. This feature is published every Thursday with additional content exclusive to the Fox6 Community forums, and it's read by nearly a half-dozen people nationwide. Follow my daily blogging activities at: http://www.dailyscoff.com

Which one do you think is bigger? The one on the left, or the one on the right. Frankly, I can't see much cleavage between them, and I've stared at them for hours:


(Seriously? You fell for that again? Let's review: it's Blogger Sweeps month, 'member? Anyway, thanks for your click. Pervert.)

Still, there ARE a lot of similarities between them. There was an ingenious impromptu line I remember the late Johnny Carson spouting during a segment with Dolly Parton that applies per