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It’s Tuesday night, performance night and the top ten are ready and waiting to perform. They will be singing songs from the years they were born. And I think a lot of us are going to end up feeling very, very old.

Ramiele was born in 1987 and decides to take a bite out of Heart’s “Alone.” I was an early fan of Ramiele’s but she’s been losing me for the past few weeks. And this performance doesn’t help matters. Her voice sounded screechy throughout and her performance skills were so stiff. I’m afraid we might say bye-bye to Malubay.

Jason was also born in 1987. In fact, it’s his birthday. Jason realizes that he’s an Aries. I’m sure before that he mistakenly thought Aries was a brand of rolling papers. He sings Sting’s “Fragile” while playing his trusty acoustic. He gives this song a slight Spanish vibe and though he doesn’t do anything new, I’m still a fan of his laid-back, coffeehouse performer style. Still, I want Jason to surprise me and do something different.

Like Ramiele and Jason, Syesha was also born in 1987. She sings Stephanie Mills’ “If I Were Your Woman.” If I were a fan of Syesha’s, I’d probably really like this performance. Her voice is in fine form throughout and she fills a certain R & B diva niche that Idol always needs. However, I wish the girls who compete on this show would refrain from the glory note ballads. It gets boring after a while. But Syesha is one of the best of the night so she’s probably safe.

Chickezie was born in 1985. He sings the Luther Vandross’ “If Only for One Night.” After a couple of weeks of high-energy Chickezie I’m enjoying a more subdued Chickezie. Simon may call him old-fashioned but I kind of like Chickezie’s throwback style. I think it needs to be introduced to a new generation. But I wonder if going fourth might get him lost in the shuffle.

Brooke (born 1983) stumbles a bit when she begins the Police classic “Every Breath You Take.” I was a bit worried she might sunny-up this song. If you listen to the lyrics, “Every Breath You Take” is a very dark and brooding song. But Brooke has a brain in her head and she does connect with the lyrics. Sure, her version is a bit lighter than the original but at least she doesn’t sing with a Miss America pageant smile on her face. Plus, I’m such a fan of her voice.

Michael Johns was born in 1963, I mean 1978. Being the Idol oldster, he’s able to take advantage of the Senior Citizen “Two for the Price of One” Special. He sings Queen’s “We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions.” This could have been a huge mistake, but I actually thought Michael was fairly decent. I felt like I was at a concert, having a good time. This can only help Michael because I felt like he was coasting for the past few weeks, and this was one of the better performances of the night. Still, Michael isn’t good enough to hold Mr. Mercury’s leather jock.

Carly was born in 1983 and was named after Carly Simon. Well, now my life is complete. She sings the Bonnie Tyler song “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” Apparently the spirit of Amanda Overmyer lives, because Carly screeched and yelled throughout the entire song. Plus, she seemed way too tense. It was as if she was concentrating too hard trying to convince us that she was intense instead of actually being intense. But can we give the back up singer a recording contract? She sounded great!

David A was born in 1990. What’s this? Oh it’s my AARP card. My fellow Idol watcher kmantoni called David the “American Idol Test Tube Baby” and this is so true. It’s as if he was mixed up in a lab somewhere. Some scientists combined cute looks, a good voice and non-threatening likeability to make the ideal Idol contestant. Sure, he’s talented, but there is nothing there for me to care about. David sings “You’re the Voice” by John Farnham, which is probably not familiar with 99.9% of the audience. I wonder if this will prevent him from getting some votes.

Kristy was born in 1984. She sings Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless the USA.” Well, that should get her a lot of votes from the red states. Because if you don’t vote for Kristy then you hate America, the troops and probably God. Go back to Russia, you commie! Actually, I missed most of Kristy’s performance to wash up some dishes. That’s how invested I am in her.

David C was born in 1982. He sings Michael Jackson’s iconic “Billie Jean.” Hey kids, I remember when Michael Jackson didn’t have a nose that looked like a rose thorn. But onto David’s performance (he actually sang the Chris Cornell version of "Billie Jean"). Stripped of the original’s dance-soul pop sound, “Billie Jean” becomes darker and almost sinister. Though David rarely gets out of his alt-rock box I still liked this performance. I just hope the judges’ comments don’t give him a swelled head. One DAUGHTRY! is enough.

I think this was one of the least entertaining nights this Idol season. I found myself looking at my watch, counting the minutes until the show was over. This is supposed to be the most talented Idol contestants ever? Oh, and Paula’s outfit. It looked like her top was made of shredded disco ball and she was also wearing opera-length, fingerless leather gloves. Who is dressing this woman? Norma Desmond?

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American Idol-The Top 10 Perform

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